Fuck...

Okay...a short-titled post after a long-titled one.

Feeling bitter.
At the effing irony that is effing everywhere.
And having to make all those effing choices that fills up our lives,
and ultimately: the ONE FUCKING choice you make over and over again everyday when you wake up. (That has absolutely nothing to do with determination).
(yeah, the choice to see the world as..........A??? ....or........B???)

We try to tell ourselves, and each other that:
A: "A Smile is a sign of Joy, a Hug is a sign of Love, a Laugh is a sign of Happiness, and a Friend like me....well, that's a sign of Good Taste...:P"
(Spoken with determined, almost unavoidably blinding, humanly flawed naivety like it is the only thing left in us to reassure ourselves the last traces of our effing dignity)

Instead, what we never say is that:
B: "A Smile is Despair in Disguise, a Hug is Affection without Obligation, Friendship = a ship that carries two in good and one in bad weather..."
(Felt in each of our fearful hearts like a resonating truth and the only truth that has been creeping to the surface with a force which is growing more undeniable everyday, waiting to serve it's purpose: dominate the world of mankind)

*yawn*
some kind of serious effing bull-crap aye.

u know.
reality tires me out.

it is making hearts grow cold. frozen like dead men's skulls. and do you wonder? that's where we will all end up?

is it so bad to give up? now?
in the midst of which there's a temptation that tells us: it's the way to receiving genuine peace.
why call it a temptation? because it tells us what we want to hear. it tells us it is everything that we will ever want. and because within the grey areas there's a hint that it is only a cheap, fast way to a quick fixture that's only an empty promise to give you a good night's sleep, a peace of mind..that will never last, and will never satisfy, so long as you are alive within all that is physical and tangible.
what is giving up anyways?

u know.
reality really tires me out.
really really.

that's all i know for today.
haaah....

-------------------------

(p.s.: this gorgeous person here. with the snow-white hair. in case you are wondering. He is a Boy.)

(p.p.s.: get the irony?)

Post Therapeutic House Cleaning and Torturously Difficult Resistance Against Murderously Tempting Cigarettes

pasta is yum
and so are mushrooms
but i am so sick of noodles
and what the heck are lentils