Saturday, June 11, 2005

Never Trust A Performer

I'm mesmerised by this book.
my new BONO ON BONO book.
no fancy words.
jus conversations.
but the little concepts.

*thought*

"I had this vision of you as innocents, which you obviously werent. young and coming from an innocent place and bringing your candor to a cynical place, and winning over the cynicism. maybe it was a romantic FRENCH idea, that the beauty is to make an elegant gesture and then disappear. but what i underestimated was your hunger..."

Cough After-thought

it's the chilli.

i seem to put it in everything i cook.

which isn't much in the first place i thought...

Cough Cough

Cough.

Cough Cough.

Cough Cough..

Cough Cough Cough.

Cooooouuuughhh..

Fuck. Can't Stop Coughing. And I havn't touched cigarettes since Tuesday.

what is wrong with me?


(surely it's not the vanilla chai that i'v been having non-stop?)

*lost in deep thought*

Poetry Dog Tag - 11.06.05

heaven. is. insanity. like. liquid. light. inside.



insanity. is. heaven. like. liquid. light. inside.

Incidents



"
In Morocco, not long ago...
The Bartender, in a station restaurant, came out to pick
a red geranium and put it in a glass of water, between
the coffee machine and the sink full of dirty cups and
saucers.

------

Tonsorial persecution: Rafaelito claims his father cut his
hair off while he was asleep. Other boys say that the police
crop them whever they can catch them in the street:
rebellion and repression on the level of the boy's black hair.
"


Roland Barthes

Popcorn for Breakfast

A Recent Observation. Thing's I've Eaten In The Past Few Days.

Just to clarify:I call them 'things' because for some people, what i eat they don't call 'food'. i mean. sheesh. do these people know what they are missing out. *now i hear ghostly voices appearing out of thin air talking to me or so i think: "well joy do YOU know what u are missing out...musli bars and fresh fruit could take u a long way...why dont u jus hand over the softdrinks and cakes...*) -- hmm...could b the angels. now how wud i know if it's not little devils too.

Today (so far)

Popcorn for breakfast.

Liquid Consumption: Lift+ times twoo.

Feeling: like Queen of England sporting a mohawk.
(Totally wrong)
------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday

Breakfast? I think consuming food at 1pm as first meal of the day..does that count?
so that was instant soup (powder+water+possibly lots of fatty acids), with bread (german rye! so ha! cant get back at me on that one!) and hummus (not so bad huh?)

except that turned out to be the only meal i had that day.

i think i spent the rest of the night having my vanilla chai that i'v been obsessing over since it's a new discovery from the supermarket.

WHERE WHERE WHERE IS A PROPER TEA SHOP IN WELLY??

---------------------------------------------------------

Day before Yesterday.

Had Dinner, that's it. was proper butter chicken'ish stuff from Readings foodcourt tho.

---------------------------------------------------------

Day before Day before Yesterday.

Cant remember. plus. keeping a food diary is chronic. almost bridget jones. except it turns out i dont eat as much as she does.

*bleah.*
(disgust)





(Now, that's what i hate, i'm always the last one to discover what i'v been up to. buggar. grr. double grr)

Piercing the Vault

Whoa.
NZSO tonight was amazing. Of course, all i was looking forward to was the premiere of Michael William's Piercing the Vault. Bobby stands as my hero! yippee. His performance was great great great. Can't get over it. Josie and i had the most horrible seats. 2nd row. but that doesnt stop a great performance being great. except now i'm exhausted and cannot write another sentence with the word great in it. must continue after decent sleep, i doubt i'll be over the great great great performance tomorrow morning when i wake anyways (wait, it's already tomorrow...and i'v pointed it out yet again! - sometimes i wonder why i bother). so. more details in a couple of hours, hopefully without the overuse of the word "great".

hello and bye bye.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"...for many years, i have had an interest in how nacient civilisations have viewed the universe, earth and humankind's place within it. some of the most thought-provoking beliefs for me have been those that allude to the concept of the sky as a physical vault with the universe itself lying beyond. the earth would then appear to be at the core or the centre of the universe. although these types of concepts have been abandoned for many years through scientific discoveries, the ideas themselves remain beautiful, inriguing and somewhat mysterious..."

Friday, June 10, 2005

Socks

Argh. I lost one sock. My favourite pair. from Aotea markets last year. I had an argument with Katie right at the stall so i could have it. my point being they are too short for her. now shouldnt i pick on sum1 my own size.

the point: i had romeo and juliet. now romeo is missing.

he's not even under my bed.

meah...

cold toes tonight.

unfair.

Cravings that came wee bit too late

woa. still in post-recital phase.
hard to get out.

suddenly feeling like i had to let dutilleux and finzi go. and ready to lauch into new performing phase. but it's now 3 mins to 1am, which really means the perfect time to whip out my cor anglais (eli), who has been hibernating since february *ahem* and to suddenly launch into this glamours display of ravel, wouldnt one think that's rather a rude awakening?!?!

suddenly feels panicked that cor anglais reeds hasnt arrived yet in the mail. a bit freaked out i wont b ready 4 tonga. whoa!

instead, i am here procrastinating..wishing i could live the life of napoleon dynamites, where everything feels so in your face under the scorching sun, making the task of feeding 'tina the pet llama' seems equivalent to climbing mt. everest, as we munch away on tots, and sketch ligers (lion+tiger) to 'waste' the day away...

not to forget the 'vote for pedro' tshirts too...

still suffering from the building insomniacal tendencies. instead of serenading myself on the cor, i hav 2 resort to crackers and hummus, as this would b my 2nd meal of the day. oops wait. it's already 'tomorrow'..
i'm still too scared to go to bed, afraid of what i might dream up. the helicopter (which contained a swimming pool and does summersaults), and the previous vivid one of material closely related to 'clockwork orange', still leaves me considerable shaken.


*yawn*

Thursday, June 09, 2005

First Day - Take Me Home



So.

Mid-Year Recital is finally over. Woa. Still taking some time letting it all go.
Woke up with Dutilleux in my head still. Coming to think of it, I fell asleep the same way too.
And had the strangest dreams again. It just gets more and more bizzare every time.
I wonder if I do too much before I retire. Maybe I should leave the last 13 minutes before sleeping -- as a time to absolutely do nothing.
Movies and dvd's always seems to make me fall asleep these days....mayb that's a reason too?

mull mull mull...

Today is absolutely shocking. Didnt think i was capable of sleeping through so much daylight. As soon as my eyes opened first time this 'morning' it said 11am. Literally jumped out of bed. But even the carpet was cold for my toes. eek. back to bed.
Ipod is freezing too. mayb that's y the battery's been dying so quikly. not. good.
dcided to listen to katchen's ravel c'to in g. favourite movement again. except i drifted off so quickly i didnt end up drowning in pool of my own tears this time. not a bad start to the morning (soon to be afternoon). daphnes and chloe suite #2 followed. absolutely phenomenal. but soon turned too savage for the morning head. *ouch*

the cutting off of the internet forced me to switch to the television and 'oscar red-carpet' make-overs on Oprah. which delayed the time i was spose to jump in the shower...and thus delayed the time i met up with mince girl. ooops.

for once i could get out there without my trusty coat. feels light. and the sun is out! suddenly jus feel like laughing for no reason. man i miss the sun! and the beach! but walking across the field to everton, the sun was satisfying enough as it is. yippeee...

ended up strolling the streets, trying things in shops that we could never afford, or items that we would never imagine ourselves wear in a million years. that's wut can b so fun when u dont have any $$. u can jus try things for the heck of it. i tried on a gorgeous creamy fur vest in max. so gorgeous. but u could fit 2 of me inside it. thank god. otherwise i dont know what i wud have done!

into whitcoulls we go. what set out to be a short mission to locate blutak, ended up in this impulsive frenzy of a quest to find zoggo's perfect present. (he turns 20 tomorrow. i think. or is it 19? 21?...oops. i shud know this!) i found another frog card, without much effort. (4th year in a row? not bad.. not bad.). dcided to decorate the card in this bright pink, massive gift box, pink curls of ribbons, pink wrapping paper....almost set out to find a pink tshirt and graffiti it with the words "I love O.C."...the complete psychedelic bad taste concept is DEFINITELY going to jump in his face. *evil smirk*

trouble begins when we arrive in cuba mall. shoe connection is where all hell lets lose. i tried on pairs and pairs and PAIRS.....gorgeous semi heeled, light green framed patterned shoes...aww...just completely gorgeous, and typically unpractical. and the boots! mince girl almost fainted at they became progressively larger and more outrageous. from practical, soft, black, decent and proper uggs to the massive furrrrrrrrr ones...thank god i didnt purchase them. but i cant stop thinking about them.

we walked further in2 the mall. and i jus got COMPLETELY TAKEN OVER. scarves and bags...uhoh....thai silk....damnit...
they have such refined and classy things, that r at the same time exotic. more of the concept that they are from far away that makes it exotic really. but buying these things doesnt make me feel closer to the life i so want to have. to go overseas and see 'everything'.

a typical day in the city really. where i could fill my mind with sparkly pretty things. when i know that deep down i want to be by the beach. at home. i miss the garden. the deck at the back of the house. the new sunroom mum and dad built. and ice-cream on my favourite bench and the pohutukawa tree. a part of me is so thrilled that i will get to c it all, jus for a few hours, when i stop by on monday b4 tonga. im so anticipating it i want to tell mum right away. another part of me wonders if i shud turn up on the porch as a surprise. hmm..are they ever good with surprises!

the day out, ended rather nicely, mince girl and i ended up in the library, warm and quiet, strolling past shelves and shelves of fiction wondering what mite bring us new perspectives of the unknown. i settled on murakami: again. except this time, i actually managed to find the book on the shelf! and also more kundera. now i know they ahve so many there, im so glad i dont hav to buy them!....man. i remembered the 'timeout' book store in mt. eden village too....miss that heaps! and soup for breakfast at frasers with zog after an O.C. marathon...

*daydream*

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